You know how all those personal development gurus out there say “It’s all about mindset?” That’s the kind of advice that led me to speeding 120 miles per hour to an emergency room one night because I listened to what they said.
Mindset is good, but the next step on the journey (which almost nobody starts to learn about) is how to control your emotions. After all, it’s the emotions that cause you to feel the way you do, aren’t they?
This is How to Never Suffer From Negative Emotions Ever Again.
All of those emotional thoughts such as worry, guilt, doubt, fear, anger, stress, frustration, boredom, lack of hope, insecurity, and uncertainty will be a distant thing of the past. The list goes on and on, but those are the main culprits.
Whereas most people try to forcefully push through the obstacles, there is a quicker and easier way when you stop looking outside of you to cover up the pain…but instead you begin to make the changes from within.
Before starting LimitlessCEO, I had to suffer through the pain and struggle of building a business (and living my life). People read my books, take my training courses, and see my articles on social media putting up an image of how I live a happy and stress-free life. This is actually true. My life is that way now.
But that’s where the assumptions come into mind.
You’re struggling now, you’re facing these things outside of you that cause you stress, fear, and worry; and you don’t think I face the same things (on the outside).
- I’ve been homeless in a foreign country with no access to money, everything I own thrown on the street, in the middle of November.
- My business collapsed one day in front of my eyes and I found myself rushing to the emergency room twice in the middle of the night due to heart palpitations from stress.
- The IRS sending a letter that they’ll shut down my bank accounts if I don’t pay my past-due taxes (which were more than 10x the amount of money I had in my account at the time).
These are just some of the struggles I’ve had to push through as a business owner (on the outside).
Years earlier, as an aspiring entrepreneur who was struggling to build my first business? Forget about it. The doubts, the lack of confidence, the frustrations, the fear of rejection and failure, the uncertainty. You name it, I suffered from it.
While (on the outside), the content of the things I suffered through are different than yours; when you chunk it up to the highest level, it’s all the same: We are suffering through and learning how to deal with our emotions.
So I decided to write this article to you in order to give you confidence. To be confident that no matter how much pain and suffering you are pushing through now, there is most certainly another side to it. It was through those struggles where I learned how to take control of how I feel on the inside. You’ll get there too…
How to Never Struggle With Emotions Again.
Do you know how (in the past) when you went through a struggle in your life, you eventually figured out how to push through it, and if it came up again in the future; you’d know how to effortlessly go through it again?
The same thing will happen when you begin to dive deep into learning how to take full control of your emotions.
I didn’t do this because I wanted to, I did this because I desperately needed to. After speaking with countless other business owners who have faced worse struggles than me, I learned one thing: It’s possible for anybody to take full control of their emotions (This throws the concept of my “luck” out the window).
Full Emotional Balance
Step 1 – Your Inner vs. Outer Reality
The very first step to taking back full control of anything in life is to place yourself in control. this means that you should adopt the belief that no matter what happens to you on the outside, you are in control of how you feel on the inside.
You can no longer blame anything outside of you for how you feel.
There’s a more technical way to release the emotional triggers (which I can show you later), but at the most fundamental level, begin to recognize which specific things trigger a negative emotional response within you. When you do this, make a habit of taking a step back, and saying to yourself “I am in control of how I feel, and I can choose to respond (not react) in a calm manner.”
The habit of taking a step back when this happens, and regaining your cool helps a lot.
Step 2 – All Suffering Comes From Resistance
The reason why I was in and out of doctors offices all winter after my business crashed is because I resisted the emotions of stress.
I used to stuff them down into my subconscious and suppress them. At first, it might be convenient, but after time, the finite space you have down there begins to build up and all of a sudden your body turns into a pressure cooker. If you suppress your emotions long enough, you explode.
So instead of suppressing or avoiding “negative” emotions, what you should do instead is to meet them with a feeling of complete love and acceptance. If someone you work with yells and screams at you….take a step back, understand that they may just be having a bad day, and meet their negative emotions with love and acceptance.
This way, the complete acceptance of anything in life allows the emotions stay at the surface (which prevents it from adding to that pressure cooker), and when you accept the emotions for being the surface, it makes way for you to….
Step 3 – Learn from them.
In personal development, they say there are four levels of transformation:
As business owners, we got the physical part down. For the mental, it’s not enough to simply “think positive thoughts”. At the very minimum, every business owner should get trained in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) so they know exactly how their mind encodes, organizes, and stores memories. This also helps in sales and influence too, because you know how people are programmed to behave.
You’re now starting to learn how to control the emotional.
I’m about to get spiritual on you…
Imagine that there’s a goal that you set out for yourself in this life. You plant that flag off in the distance and there is a trail that you’re meant to walk on. This trail you’re supposed to be walking towards your goal (which is already here) is the most direct route to achieve it.
When you begin to walk off the path you’re meant to walk on, life (the universe) sends you messages that tell you to get back on the path. These messages come in the form of negative emotions. Instead of resisting the negative emotions, pay attention to what direction they are pushing you. Having some type of belief in The Law of Attraction or spiritual sense helps allow this to make sense (I never used to believe in that, but now it works).
I recently set a goal to update an iPhone app I built years ago. There was a bug in the code and I’ve been putting it off for months. This morning, I got an email from someone saying they paid for a subscription and didn’t get access. This caused me to feel bad, so now that “negative” emotion is a sign to get back on the path and get the app business up and running again.
Your unconscious mind sends you negative emotions which are actually messages that you should do something else or walk a different path than the one you’re marching down. Good emotions tell you that you’re on the right path.
Too many spiritual gurus out there tell you to do “Positive affirmations”, which only cover up the messages that you’re meant to hear. You get pumped up with feel-good emotions, addicted to their teachings, and your life continues to suffer because you’re not learning from the so-called “negative” emotions.
When you accept them and learn from them, they are no longer bad. Embrace them!
Listen to them, learn from them, and…
Step 4 – Release them.
They did their job when you learned from them, so now it’s time to get rid of them and make room for the new (positive emotions). When you release emotions from your body, you no longer feel them correct? The rapper Eminem puts his anger into his music. A romance novelist puts his love into his writing. A bodybuilder channels his energy into lifting weights. Your emotions are powerful.
Earlier in this article, I said how I used to suppress emotions. Other people let them out uncontrollably. Instead of letting them go off in any which direction like a fire hose spraying out of control… You want to control their release.
What are you trying to build or accomplish in your life? How can these emotions (whatever they are) be used as the energy that fuels the fire for you to build it quicker?
Imagine having a powerful and controlled flow of energy into the thing that you want to build the most. All of a sudden, these previously negative emotions are now a gift.
Step 5 – Complete emotional balance.
In the example of the pressure cooker I talked about earlier, sometimes our emotions build up to extreme levels. In these instances, harnessing them into your work might not be enough.
This is where I learned things such as The Emotional Freedom Technique where it rapidly releases unwanted emotions in the matter of 4 minutes or less. Whatever unwanted emotion you face, EFT will instantly eliminate it. I’ve worked with hundreds of clients with a 100% success rate in this. It works.
Also, in the past, things have happened to us. Emotional baggage is often carried around and buried within our unconscious. It could be getting cheated on by a loved one, a sudden loss of income, or anything that leaves an imprint. There is a thing called the Timeline Release Technique which will one by one release your past emotional scars.
Combine the Time Release Technique with the steps listed above, and the resources listed below, and you will soon reach the point in your life where you are completely 100% emotional balanced. This is not to say things won’t come up in your life. They will. But when you learn how to manage your emotions, you will now be in control to be more balanced and not let anything else in the future come up.
If things are a struggle now, this is a sign that you should learn how to take full control of your emotions now.
In my parting words, I want to let you know that what you read in this article is only the beginning. I couldn’t put everything you need to know in a single article. For that reason, I created videos and a more detailed book that will teach you everything I know about managing emotions, and I offer my services to help you if this is something you really want to work on and you need some guidance along the way.
It’s only when you walk through the storm (embrace the struggle), where you learn the lessons that will make you better on the other side. Keep walking because the end of your emotional struggles is in sight…