How to Help Your Partner When They Are Not at Their Best

So your partner is acting low-key, dragging, or not seeming like themselves. What do you do? Staying out of their way is the easiest answer but it may send the wrong message. So here’s a better way to “stay out of their way”

What I’ve observed and from conversations with other people, I’ve noticed that when some partners are dealing with something they can be quite emotional and be hard on themselves just like anyone else. This thing they go through can happen for various reasons such as a new business venture, new pregnancy, change in income, hormonal changes, life pressures and many other triggers.

Regardless to the reason, society puts a great deal of pressure on people to maintain a cool air about themselves so they aren’t seen as weak. Some of them hold it in until they basically spontaneously combust with impulsive behavior, criticism, anger, provoking words or self-defeating talk. Whether the lashing out is extreme or not, the person who gets to be the emotional punching bag is usually the person closest to them…. wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, his partner….etc.  


They see the real deal and often times have had a feeling that something wasn’t right when the partner started asking “Baby what’s wrong or what’s going on with you?” I think this questioning can make some people feel ways they aren’t able to explain so they brush it off as “Nothing” or they may say “I’m fine.”  

What do you do when they don’t open up?


That’s it…. Nothing.

See you are not responsible for their emotions nor their feelings. However, you’re responsible to be kind towards them, give them their space when they need it and be there to comfort them when they’re ready. Bullying your partner into talking to you or nagging the, to open up will most likely backfire and cause them to shut down even more.

This can be hard for some women to just walk away and do nothing because as women we tend to want to make it better being nurturers by nature. When we continue to “harass” him this can only lead to him shutting down more or cause a “fight” (sometimes a real fight).

But here’s the deal: When you know you’re in a committed trusting relationship, this is the time you’ll have to rely on the foundation that the relationship is one that you are both committed to and trusted in.

Will it be hard?

At times.

Will you both want to give up?

Yes, at times.

But if you can remember that you’re not responsible for their emotions and feelings and revisit what I wrote above, this will pass. If you’re a believer in the power of prayer….pray for them. What’s the best that can happen when you do?

Stay true to your commitment to them. Be kind to them while keeping your life moving until they’re ready to rejoin you in being happy.

Temeca Magee is the Editor-In-Chief of the Milso Guide, a social media platform designed specifically for women and the those who love them who are in need of relationship answers on how to make it work. Milso means "Military Significant Other". Her passion for helping increased tremendously from being a part of the military community during pre/post war times. However, her work has branched off from just serving the military and it is trending to encompass all women who can relate to the journey of being a woman.