Combating An Entrepreneur’s Nightmare – Relationship Fatigue

At first glance you may think that “Relationship Fatigue” is when you’re just exhausted from being in a relationship. That may be only part of it.  Like “battle fatigue”, relationship fatigue has similar symptoms. “Battle Fatigue” is something that military members who have served in combat zones for a long period of time tend to experience. This fatigue occurs when they are having an acute stress reaction from being exposed to extended periods of war.  

They may have a slowed reaction time, a hard time making decisions, suffer from PTSD, and other symptoms. Likewise, a person in a relationship who is constantly dealing with things such as unpaid bills, lack of partner support, too many disagreements, neediness, the desire for space or not knowing how to fix the relationship can cause the same type of stress as if the person was at war. However, you can be in the best relationship with trust, honesty, and commitment, and still have periods when you find yourself experiencing war-like stress.  

Have you known couples that seem to always argue or not get along? Do you have that one friend whose relationship usually interferes with their potential for business success? Have you noticed someone close to you who is in a relationship lose their ambition and drive, are always tired and making up an excuse as to why this is occurring? They could be suffering from “Relationship Fatigue”.

Let’s take a look at some symptoms of these stressors: moodiness, a lack of sleep, sleeping too much, a lack of desire for sex, an increased desire for sex, dealing with an increase in toxicity, abuse (all forms), easily distracted and taken off course, depression, loss of interest, reduced ambition, boredom, physical pain, a lack of desire to be in a relationship and/or thinking of every excuse to get away for long periods of time or leaving the relationship altogether.

Other things one may experience: failing to reach business goals, abandoning goals and dreams or constantly starting over in business because so much time is being spent trying to fix the relationship.  These are just a few of the symptoms someone may have and these are also key indicators that you or someone you love is struggling with “Relationship Fatigue”.

The bad news is relationship fatigue can kill the relationship and cause you health problems long term if not addressed.  The good news is relationship fatigue CAN BE resolved and controlled without medication and psychiatric intervention.  Here are a few simple solutions to combat relationship fatigue.

  • Admit You Are Having a Hard Time in the Relationship to Yourself, Then to Your Partner. You may fear he or she will leave or not understand, however, you deserve to be happy and fulfilled on this journey and your partner deserves to know the truth of how their actions are impacting the relationship.
  • Sit Down Together and Have “The Talk”. The best time to have this discussion is after sex, after you both have rested and after you both have eaten a good meal because it is more likely to be a calm and logical conversation vs. emotional. Set ground rules such as listening to each other’s complete thought, don’t interrupt each other, keep your emotions calm and talk with a solution in mind.

When you’re having “the talk”, choose your words carefully. Place no blame and season your words with salt.  Reinforce that this is not about her or him personally and that you are being open with them and vulnerable at the same time.  Remember that you are the most aware of your feelings and have had time to process your thoughts and what you will say.

Further, be prepared for your partner’s reaction.  He or she may not be feeling the same way and they may not react the way you would like for them to. This part may be the hardest part of the solution because this is when emotions tend to get involved and we forget to be nice and this is also where things can break down into nothing.

1. Create a Schedule Which Works for You in Order to be Able to Meet Your Needs

Share this with your partner. Your partner won’t know what they don’t know unless you tell them what’s going on with you.  IF this is the person you plan to stay with, incorporate them into your schedule and let them know it is subject to change and that you will work to notify them in advance.

2. Start Implementing What Works For You 

At this point, you’ve admitted the issue and you’ve brought the issue to your partner.  You’ve had “the talk’ and you both have listened, hopefully. Regardless, here is where you should start to let go of trying to explain yourself and implement what works for you. At the end of the day “self-preservation” will usually rule over being oppressed.

3. Get Some Rest

Whether you’re able to have this conversation or not, find time to get some rest. Although the fatigue has many potential stress factors, you should take this time to rest more by taking naps, meditating, getting a massage, go out for coffee or get some time away from your partner so that you can get to your business and get your life back.

4. End It

Depending on where you are in the relationship, ending it may be the best option, especially if the situation is abusive and toxic. Not only are your pockets being drained, but so is your health. If there is no room for compromise [on both sides], if the trust, love and commitment are gone, if you simply want to be out of the relationship, end it.  This may seem harsh but cut your losses early.

Knowing how to handle your feelings as an Entrepreneur can be the maker or breaker of your overall success. You can overcome this battle when you own what’s not working and strive to fix it or get rid of it.  The bottom line is you are solely responsible for how you feel and how you allow others to make you feel and impact your business and health.

Until we speak, take care.

Temeca Magee is the Editor-In-Chief of the Milso Guide, a social media platform designed specifically for women and the those who love them who are in need of relationship answers on how to make it work. Milso means "Military Significant Other". Her passion for helping increased tremendously from being a part of the military community during pre/post war times. However, her work has branched off from just serving the military and it is trending to encompass all women who can relate to the journey of being a woman.