We often notice couples walking down the street and at times wonder how is it possible that these two people have found each other to be a match?
It is often true that relationships are based on more than just looks 90% of the time, there has to be a connection for two people to remain together past the initial date, but it is also true that two people often get together initially on the basis of some sort of physical attraction which draws the next question: Did you choose your partner, or simply accept them?
After spending some time with the person you seem to love, do you find yourself wondering what the alternative reality could be? What if you could do better? What if you could have someone that is a better match or even someone that simply is more attractive?
So many questions, yet only one remain the ultimate you must answer: Why did it get so far to begin with?
The answer is quite simple and actually an easy fix, it’s the fact that you settled and didn’t think you could do better at the time, so you settled for the security of not being alone when in reality you knew you had more potential but chose to ignore it, due to your lack of belief in your own ability to do better.
The lack of self confidence is poison to your life and the reality remains that you must believe in yourself prior to being able to find the right person or right career or simply achieving anything in life. If you don’t believe in you, how can you get others to buy into you? How can you expect an employer to believe in your abilities when you don’t or a significant other to think she/he has found someone great when you don’t think you are? It simply doesn’t work that way. You have to know your own value and understand your limits, strengths and weaknesses and understand what you can do to improve the skill-sets that make you more valuable to society and those around you, therefore commanding the respect you deserve.
So what keeps you from believing that you can?
This is even more simple, the idea of failing and being rejected scares you, it drives you away from even trying and it makes you feel weak. The less you get rejected the better off you are, the less people say no to you and the more you feel ok and valued. Perhaps, you should think back of how many times you wondered.
What if I was driving that car? What if that was my girlfriend? What if I lived there?
Think back of all those opportunities you missed just hoping they would come to you because you are scared of losing something you don’t even own. You see as discussed in my past articles, without risk comes no growth and in this case ask yourself: what risk am I taking? None. The greatest risk as discussed is to not take a risk at all. So by you wondering and not acting simply because you are afraid you miss out on everything you could be. What’s the worst that happens when you start talking to someone you think is attractive? They either reject you or accepts to get to know you? Worst case scenario: You are where you started! Best case scenario: You now have the hottest girl holding your arm!
These small decisions can make who you are and boost you up daily, weekly and yearly. Assume that you now have the hottest girl/guy on your arm, will you go back to the same old level as before or will you look for better? The reality is that the odds are going to be in your favor and you will find better, no one downgrades when they think they can do better.
So time to make a change in your life and upgrade your life till you find the right circumstances that allow you to feel you ve reached your limits and when you have then think you can do better and never feel confined to your own limits.