It’s been said that if you can’t love yourself you can’t love another. Same holds true with trust. Our habits, thoughts and choices all reflect the way in which we trust ourselves. The more we trust ourselves to act with clarity and purpose, the easier it is to make decisions on the fly. The less trust we have in ourselves, the easier it is to be distracted by ‘Oh, Shiny’ complex and procrastinate our lives away.
If you suffer from a weakened ability to choose with confidence, you may be lacking a great deal of self trust. This road is laden with many failed commitments, a struggle to remain inspired through the process, and internal dialogue that fights you every step of the way. More commonly called analysis paralysis, this is a toxic recipe for disaster, a path that will not lead you to the dream life.
The crazy part is, every relationship you have will show signs of this distrust. You can look at your money, your love life and even your self awareness to see how this plays out. Your partner will be combative, your money will be scarce and you won’t believe in yourself to make the right decisions. As an entrepreneur this process of self discovery and honing in on the ways we hold ourselves back is an essential step to reaching our desired goal.
There is no way we can reach the goals we have and feel truly fulfilled if we innately do not, and cannot, trust ourselves to stay there. When fear, doubt, and self judgment lead the way, we sabotage our efforts the second we achieve anything out of our comfort zone. It’s the human brain’s way of creating the illusion of safety. If failure is consistent, and self promises are always broken, the brain will be happy keeping it that way.
Literally, this is a matter of chemical reactions and neurological wiring. The more we choose the same, the more the brain wires together to form patterns and associations. Our logic and reason are formed based on our belief of what ‘is’ and our identity reflects an addiction to the suffering.
It’s no wonder we have such a difficult time creating new habits. Without awareness to how the brain works, we can’t hope to achieve success. It’s through consistency and daily commitment that we are able to reprogram our minds.
If you’re stuck in a perpetual flow of procrastinating on important tasks, or simply just putting off taking action on your dreams, listen up. You’ll need to actively break the pattern each and every day by consciously choosing to behave and respond in a new way that aligns with your goal. You’ll have to set small, consistent markers of achievement and acknowledge each as you have reached them. Commit daily to improve by taking at least one step toward acting in trust and do not let anything deter you from it. If need be, do it before you do anything else in the day so you know it will get done.
As I often tell my coaching clients, you must give yourself permission to succeed rather than accepting failure as a possible option. Proceed as if success were inevitable by choosing to follow through despite the challenges you may face. Don’t allow yourself to give time or energy to fear when you know it will only give you an excuse to procrastinate again.
When you begin to form a better relationship with yourself based on trust and commitment, you will find flow in areas where you experienced only fear or contraction. You’ll notice that choices are no longer over analyzed and you feel more at ease when others trust you with bigger tasks. Self trust projects out into the world as an incredible air of confidence and clarity. This is where you truly know what you are capable of and it shows.